The Wife Life

Tonight’s blog is inspired by the remote being lost. I can’t turn on the television so I turned on my laptop. I looked everywhere for it; under the couch, under the couch cushions, in my purse, the fridge, the pantry, the washing machine. This search sequence got me looking back over the last few years that I’ve been married. How have my skills as a wife evolved? Recently I proved victorious in one aspect. It took over four years of marriage, and thirty four years of life, but I finally stopped poking holes in my dish washing gloves while cleaning knives. It has been at least a week. Yet, I may be currently running the remote through the washer so that sets me back a bit. Sometimes I almost put the milk in the pantry and the oatmeal in the fridge.  Once I was putting clothes in the dryer and I found a dirty diaper in there. I am pretty sure I don’t know a single person who has done that so I didn’t seek advice about whether I should rewash everything. Anyway, I didn’t rewash because it was only a pee diaper and my standards for cleanliness have become questionable. It is just too hard to keep up. With one baby, it wasn’t too demanding. With three, there is just way too much laundry and general mess in the house. It’s really desensitizing. I mean sometimes I’m looking at a mess, or something that needs vacuuming, and I’m tired so I asked myself Will everyone survive if I don’t vacuum my hair that’s falling out on the mat in the play area? Well, yes everyone will survive, most likely. Do I sometimes see my toddler pulling one of my loose hairs out of his mouth? U-huh. That’s his problem. Stop eating cheerios off the floor! My mind can be such a fuzzy, fatigued blur that I just choose not to deal. Sometimes the kids mess things up, play with electronics, bulldoze the dog who starts growling, all while I sit on the couch and supervise. Sometimes I just don’t yell No every five seconds. Sometimes I just don’t Mother the kids or Wife the house. And it is so freeing. One night after the babies were in bed, I sat down with my wine and opened up Google and asked How to stop getting your toddler to say No to you. There I sat feeling so stupid because the first piece of advice that popped up instructed me to be the one to stop saying no to him. This parental-genius child-whisperer of a website said I should instead respond to him by saying stuff like I prefer if you didn’t…, You can’t have any milk now because you just had some…, It’s time to sleep but you can watch your show tomorrow. Different approaches seem to work and what may have worked today may not work tomorrow. Mom skills have to always be evolving. As for the wife skills, well I do my best to be my best. It’s important to celebrate all victories, big or small. Once in a while, I discover that I’ve mastered some skill like washing knives. Other times I drop the ball, like when I washed a dirty diaper. As for tonight, I am happy to announce that my remote control is sparkly clean and apparently waterproof. See, another victory!